


Gay Straight Guys Kissing... Bro.

by Pastache



Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 15:37:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6811318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pastache/pseuds/Pastache
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I took inspiration from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDsHvq6juEY</p><p>I was not just legitimately high when I wrote this.</p><p>If you were looking for any kind of acceptable or rational writing you have come to the wrong place- warnings for sheer crack and characterization going out of the window.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gay Straight Guys Kissing... Bro.

Thomas and Jimmy sat next to each other with the new radio cranked up as loud as it would go. They were alone in the servant’s hall (the rest gone out to the pictures), and the boys, much like the saying, were happy playing with their new toy. They were currently listening to a live account of the Rugby Union international between England and Wales, broadcast from Twickenham.

 

_“…Again recycled quickly, and the scrumhalf has no option but to go open side, passes to the standoff who finds a gap but he’s well tackled by Matthews in the ¾’s…”_

“Come on... come on you bastards!” Jimmy shook his fist at the radio, teeth bared in a grimace.

Thomas leaned even closer to the speaker, as if the words reaching him that much quicker meant the very world to him.

 

_“…They’ve got a great scoring chance here through the number 6 with that pass to the hooker…”_

 

Jimmy put a hand on Thomas’ shoulder, squeezing with excitement but Thomas’ focus was straight ahead- each second of anticipation building like an overwhelming wave-

_“…and they’ve **scored**!”_

“Yes!” Jimmy and Thomas jumped to their feet in triumph, slapping each other’s palms, and roaring with delight, shaking their firsts and hugging, smacking each other on the back in a display of hyper-masculine comradery.

_“….So that’s a try here for England and a horrific play by Wales, they couldn’t have asked for anything worse…”_

 

“Now we’re on our way, ey?!” Jimmy brimmed with confidence as he sat back down, slapping his thighs in satisfaction.

          “That’s more like it England, c’mon!” Thomas couldn’t keep his feet still enough to sit back down, so he paced across the servants hall, relying on Jimmy to warn him if something happened; he needed a drink.

          “Eng-land! Eng-land! You fancy a beer?” Thomas routed around for a bottle and a corkscrew

          “Nah, I’m alright Thomas, I’ve got to meet Ivy out later, we’re goin’ to dinner with her _parents_.” The trepidation in Jimmy’s tone said it all.

          “Ooh- dinner with the folk?” Thomas sat back down, smirking. “I did that last week w’Daisy- good luck.” He punched Jimmy’s arm playfully.

 

“…. _On the halfway line, they’ll look to kick now….”_

“Ey- listen in.” Jimmy had tensed, mouth slightly open in excitement,

 

_“…This will be fielded by Jagger, he does well to collect it cleanly. Cuts inside, good step from Jagger, another great step…”_

Thomas leant forward too, lost in the exhilaration of an upcoming win, beer left ignored on the table.

 

_“… he’s got some space now with a great turn of speed running down to the 22 metre line…”_

Jimmy gasped, gesturing at the radio like he could _see_ the match. “Come on come on come on- _ah_ \- _he_ -”

          “Yes! Yes come on! Go on- do it!” Thomas grit his teeth.

_“…no one is going to lay a hand on him, and he’s through and under the sticks!”_

“YES!” The boys jumped to their feet again, testosterone buzzing in their systems. Thomas let loose a syllable of sound, similar to a grunt or a roar, that is unique to boys participating in sport and Jimmy laughed and held up his hand- Thomas eagerly slapped it, then the other when it was presented, and with an all-manly growl they hugged again and started passionately kissing each other, hands coming up to pull at hair and rub each other’s sides as both boys scrambled to find purchase - each in a frenzy against the other’s lips. Jimmy practically _clawed_ his hands down Thomas’ face as Thomas pulled him closer, holding him under his shoulders and very suddenly they both pushed away, gawping.

 

 _“…A brilliant piece of work from Matt Jagger which started on his very own 22 meter line, cutting straight through the defense and running it all the way in_ …”

 

Jimmy recoiled with his arms up, Thomas turned away and then looked back at Jimmy with mild horror. For a moment the radio was overshadowed by panting breath.

          “Woah…” Jimmy tried and failed to start a sentence, and Thomas merely moved his mouth, pointing curiously between them as if he'd forgotten all of his words.

          “Hey, woah… w-what was that- What jus’ happened?” Jimmy finally managed to spit out.

          Thomas scoffed, pointing at the radio, trying to appear nonchalant with confusion written all over his face. “Pft- uh- England got a touch-down.” He attempted placation with a sheepish smile.

          “No-o.” Jimmy shook his head, chest still heaving, he looked at Thomas with wide eyes. “The other part.”

          Thomas swallowed and gestured toward his face. “T-the part about my tongue in your mouth?”

          “Yes!” Jimmy put his hands on his hips. “Yes, _that_ part.”

          Thomas mimicked him, hands on his hips, and scoffed again. “It was- it was nothing!” He shook his head to confirm this, although his voice had gone curiously high pitched.

          Jimmy nodded, and gestured earnestly, “Right, I-uh- right- it was it was just a _thing_.” He pursed his lips. “It was a rugby thing! It happens all the time!” He opened his arms out in a universal display of nonchalance that didn’t quite reach the painful smile on his face.

          Thomas quickly nodded, “Yeah. You think so?”

          Jimmy shook his head a fraction, “No way.”

          “Yeah-”

          “No way.” He ran a hand through his hair. Thomas exhaled slowly.

          “So uh…” he gestured, “are we… _nancies_?”

          “No!” Jimmy blinked. “No… I don’t know…” he hesitated. “Were you _excited_?”

          “No! ... Yes.” Thomas swallowed. “A little bit- I was a little bit excited.” His face dropped, “ah- does that make me a pansy?”

          “Uhm- no! Mm… well, yeah.” Jimmy winced. “A little-” he pinched his fingers, “a little bit. A little bit queer.”

          “So we’re a little bit _queer_?”

          “Ye-es.” Jimmy said slowly, then immediately, “Wait, no!” He backtracked, “We’re jus- we’re just two blokes, who got excited and started necking!” He put the heels of his palms to his forehead.

          Thomas considered, and nodded. “That still sounds a little queer to me, Jimmy.”

          Jimmy nodded. “… Yeah… Oh- oh listen to this!” Jimmy turned back to the radio and both of them were relieved to return their focus to the game at hand- sitting back beside each other with a few shuffles. Within seconds Jimmy was as taunt as ever, rapt in the game, Thomas hovering next to him, vibrating with palpable excitement as another play built to its climax.

 

_“They pass it wide as Mike Umaga urges them to pass as he wants his side to go for it. Montgomery cuts inside makes about 5 or 10 meters then secures the ball well, but he’s lost it on the ground and England have it, and this is only going one place and that is **into touch**!”_

Thomas and Jimmy yelled in unison- not even a word this time, and jumped again to their feet, this time pointing at the radio and shouting at it rather than touching,

          “Yes!”

          “What a play!”

          “En-gland! En-gland!”

          “We got it!” Jimmy turned to Thomas,

          “We _got_ it!” Thomas raised his hands in the air, victorious, with a smirk and Jimmy jabbed his fingers with glee, neither noticed how they moved closer and closer in their over-excitement.

          “Come on!”

          “England!” They bumped chests and immediately Thomas’ hand was at the back of Jimmy’s neck, Jimmy’s arms wrapped tightly around Thomas’ chest and Thomas was shaking he was kissing Jimmy so hard. Immediately their shouts muted to frantic noises of need- Jimmy’s hands running over Thomas’ face and down his back, pulling him closer with a hand behind his neck and Thomas clawed his hands into the back of Jimmy’s golden hair, running his hand through his curls like his life depended on it and they were flush against each other but still trying to get closer- hands straying to cup hips and buttocks until finally Thomas _lifted_ Jimmy off his feet and held Jimmy above him and Jimmy scrabbled at Thomas’ shoulders, legs trying to find purchase and his mouth was on Thomas’ _neck_ ,

          “Woah-”

          “ _Woah_ -”

          At the same time they realized and Thomas let Jimmy slide down to the floor. Jimmy turned and took a few steps away from Thomas and Thomas stood, looking at his hands like he’d lost control of them.

          “What the bloody _hell_?!”

          Thomas shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before looking around like there might be some clue in their surroundings, pushing the moment away.

          “What the bloody hell is going on?!” Jimmy looked panicked, eyes wide as he shouted at the floor, putting his hands up and through his hair as he stared at Thomas like a wild rabbit.

          “Uh…” Thomas nodded slowly. “I think we’re queer.”

          “You think so?”

          “Uh- yeah.” Thomas shuffled uncomfortably. “Almost definitely, Jimmy.” He turned to face him. “Almost defiantly.”

          “So…” Jimmy huffed, “What d’we do?”

          Thomas shrugged, sitting back down. “I don’t know, um… it’s _new_. I’m a new _queer_.”

          Jimmy sat down slowly, jaw rotating in thought. “S-should we go to a… to one of those _lavender_ bars?”

          “I don’t know- can you go when you’re _new_?” Thomas shrugged his shoulders unhelpfully.

          “Should we… I dunno… start wearing green carnations?”

          Thomas nodded, “Yeah, that’s right…”

          Jimmy nodded, then suddenly frowned, “No- no- _no_ …. not _green carnations_.” Jimmy scoffed at the idea and Thomas quickly followed suit,

          “No- ‘course not.”

          “Thomas- we’re not _queer_!” He seized a nearby newspaper, flicking through until he found a picture of Mary Pickford, thrusting it at Thomas,

          “Look- _actresses_ -”

          “Yes!” Thomas nodded heartily,

          “- that’s what we’re all about, Thomas.”

          “Yes- exactly-”

          “Full lips and rouged cheeks and big cupid’s kettledrums! We are not _queer_!”

          Thomas shook his head enthusiastically, “No way!” He was grinning, Jimmy changed the radio station to dancing music and girls’ voices were calling them,

          “Yes- like this!” Jimmy turned up the radio and closed his eyes, throwing back his head in heterosexual bliss.

          Thomas moved his arms and shoulders, dancing as much as he was able while he was still sat, throwing out an excited 'yes' every now and then for conviction. Pretty soon both boys were moving on their feet, twisting their ankles, jiving their hips and moving in all manner of jazz-esque ways that would have had Mr. Carson bellowing if he could have seen- but that was _fine_ ; boys loved jazz dancing with girls, jazz dancing was _dirty_ and it was what all the boys wanted to do with all of the b-e-a-utiful women in the world.

 

Thomas and Jimmy had turned inwards, and were now moving chest to chest. Then arms were straying, Thomas running his hands over Jimmy’s sides and chest and his face once, and then Jimmy turned around and started grinding back against him, and Thomas ran his hands over Jimmy’s hips, still moving to the beat and he turned Jimmy around, want written on his face,

          “I’m queer! I’m _queer_!” Thomas kept dancing, closer still, “I’m queer.”

          “You’re really queer.” Jimmy agreed, pulling him the final distance so they moved together,

          “This is queer- we’re queer-”

          “Wait!” Jimmy stopped dancing and backed up. “Woah woah woah _stop_!” Jimmy held his hands up and pointed at Thomas, gesturing madly, “Wait wait wait- Thomas!” Thomas suddenly became aware of himself and dropped his arms and his smile.

          Jimmy changed the station back to sports and took a breath, running a hand though his hair. “Look, Thomas- I don’t know what’s goin’ on here, okay?” He shrugged helplessly. “But- uh- j--just ‘cause a couple fellahs… _kiss,_ a-and dance a little… an’ _touch_ each other…” Thomas had his hands on his hips again, panting and searching the floor for answer, brows knit in confusion,

          “-An’ one of ‘em… whispers to the other ‘I know you’re a man but I’m gonna treat you like a lady’- that doesn’t make them _queer_.” He sought Thomas’ eye contact, to make it so.

          Thomas blinked. “When did that happen?”

          “-look. I’ve gotta get over to Ivy’s...” he eyed Thomas up, “you’re not gonna be qu- _funny_ about this, are you?”

          “No? …Are you?”

          “No!”

          “Alright.”

          The silence stretched until both men glanced and to the radio once again.

 

_“…England are the winners of the first ever broadcast Rugby Union- Wales have been defeated, Ladies and Gentlemen, what a victory!”_

“ _Yes_! Yeah!” Thomas and Jimmy whooped, punching the air, and turned to one another to hug again but paused and hesitated, trying instead for a high five but both backed their hands away at the last moment so they awkwardly traced their hands over one another without touching- trying to resist the temptation and put their hands on whatever it was they had their palms spread over. Jimmy made a few ‘get back’ gestures with his hands, but his body kept mirroring where Thomas’ hands were hovering, and Thomas was shuffling back and forth, eternally hesitating and resisting but then changing his mind. They both made a decision, stepped backwards, and dropped their hands, satisfied they would not touch. Then in sync they stepped even closer than before, almost to an embrace and held their hands centimeters away from the other’s faces, grimacing all the while. Finally, they cooled off and backed away, Jimmy running a hand through his hair and Thomas bringing a hand up to his face, groaning at the effort of his restraint.

         Jimmy jerked his thumb over his shoulder, looking around the room at everything but Thomas. “I- I- I gottah see Daisy- I’ll que-er- I mean! _See yer_!”

         “See ya.”  Thomas echoed and Jimmy nodded, relieved he was understood, and grabbed Thomas’ face to kiss him goodbye, a sudden reflex, walking firmly away with a blush on his cheeks when he let go.

         Thomas affected a masculine swagger as he nodded his head and raised a hand to Jimmy’s exit, automatically bringing a nonchalant smirk to his face, until the second Jimmy stumbled out of the door- when he twirled around with his hands hiding the besotted grin on his face, spinning and falling onto a chair with happiness shining out of him brighter than sunlight.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I actually made this as historically accurate as possible- this is set in 1927.


End file.
